If The Creek Don't Rise....
Well here we are. We made it! I did it! I finally turned this imagination place into a real, live internet place. My thoughts, my story, my journey have a home now...finally! For those of you who know (and also don't know) me, you may be hip to the fact that I have dabbled in the blogosphere for a while now. Yet, I have always been unsuccessful in producing a blog that I have been proud of. Until now. My friends, this website of mine is The One. It is my soulmate. My one and only. It has been chosen.
The old folks have a saying: "If God willing and the creek don't rise." This is usually said to assure another person of your commitment to whatever it is you are being obligated to. For instance, "I'll be at Sunday dinner if God willing and the creek don't rise!" This is to say that nothing but divine intervention or a natural disaster can keep me from showing up. It is with that same fervor and determination that I plan to use this space to document my journey.
I have spent a lot of these 26 years feeling homeless. I know what you're thinking and no...I don't mean homeless like I am physically without a place to live. I mean it in the deep down sense. It is a hard sentiment to put into words, but I'll try. When I say I have felt homeless, I mean that I have felt without a place to lay down my soul. I am constantly moving in and out of my thoughts and emotions without ever really settling them into their resting places. As a result, I sometimes find myself to be intangible. Like, I have this big misty idea of who I am and what I want....but it is less solid than it should be. I find it hard to get down into the core of me. Mainly, because when I meet the core of me...I'm not entirely sure I will want to be her friend. That's scary y'all. That thought is the one that has kept me from creating this blog. In fact, it has kept me from truly living. Honestly, that fear is what has kept me from opening myself up and breathing it all in. That fear has kept me caged up in myself and has not allowed me to set out to find home.
The old folks like to tell me that its okay because most 20 somethings feel this way for most of their 20's. But I rebuke that notion. I think its time for me to know what it means to settle down in myself and meet the core of me. I am finally ready to be her friend.
So, if God willing and the creek don't rise, I'm setting out on this journey to find Finley.